desire

lately i've been thinking a lot about my desire for the Lord. it is NO WHERE NEAR what it should be and i know it. i went to generation auburn last night-which is great by the way--everyone should come try it out on tuesday nights at 8! anyways, last night we sang the song "Yearn" and it puts desire into very clear and sincere words:

"Holy design, this place in time,
that I might seek and find my God, my God

Lord I want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion
over You and only You
Lord, I want to yearn

Your joy is mine, yet why am I fine
with all my singing and bringing grain
in light of Him

Oh, You give life and breath
through Him, You give all things
in Him we live and move,
that's why I sing

I want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion
over You and only You
Lord, I want to yearn."
-Shane & Shane

Acts 17:25-28 "And He is not served by human hands, as if He needed anything, because He Himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us. 'For in Him we live and move and have our being.'"

between that song and that verse, i was very encouraged. the song is a prayer that should be on my lips daily because i really struggle with apathy. but deep down God is still drawing me and still putting desire in my heart-i just need to be responding by praying for even more! the verse was a cool reminder that God is in total control of my life and has put me EXACTLY where i am for a reason. He knew what i was going to struggle with, He knew which friends i would make, He KNOWS my future, but has me right where He wants me right now. He desperately wants me to reach out for Him and desire Him, but He doesn't NEED me. He is capable of bringing himself the glory He deserves, but he WANTS me. that's cool. that's really cool.

any other way-tenth avenue north

A friend of mine shared this song with me the other day. it is so encouraging and i just wanted to share it! so watch it and read the lyrics!! it is a great reminder of just how deep and genuine God's love is for us-we don't have to wear a mask and pretend like we have everything together when we know we don't because He knows our hearts and loves us regardless.

encouragement

"When the music fades, all is stripped away

and i simply come, longing just to bring

something that's of worth,that will bless Your heart.

I'll bring you more than a song,

for a song in itself, is not what You have required.

You search much deeper within through the way things appear,

Your looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship,

and it's all about You, it's all about You, Jesus."

-Heart of Worship by Michael W. Smith

This song popped into my head the other day when i was thinking about how many distractions i let myself get carried away with. i'm always running from thing to thing and when i do have a break, i'm worrying and thinking about the next thing i need to prepare for or get finished. i was thinking about all this the other day when this song came to mind. it's message is so simple and clear and it convicted me about how easily distracted i am. recently i've gone through a really dry stage spiritually, but in the past week or so, God has sent lots of encouragement my way and it has really blessed me! He has been putting the right people at the exact right times into my day who encourage me and pray for me and i am very thankful. just a few days ago i was sitting in my room and feeling so overwhelmed with all that i had to do and applications to fill out and decisions to make and deadlines, etc., and i looked down at my phone and my youngest sister had just texted me- all it said was i love you. that is JUST what i needed, and little did she know just how much that meant to me! i feel like God has been doing little things like that lately and i thank Him for it. He is with me and for me and i can't wait to see what He will do!

apathy

it has been a looong time since i last wrote. sorry about that! to be honest, i've been going through a major stage of apathy. i've let distractions overtake me and i have not been seeking the Lord. its something i have noticed and i have realized its wrong, but until this morning i just didn't have the desire to change it. i kept praying that God would take away the apathy while i sat around not doing anything about it. well this morning in church i felt God's little tug on my heart again and even though i'm still struggling, i know that i must seek Him. In Jeremiah 29:13 it talks about how when we seek Him with our whole heart, we WILL find Him. that's comforting-but its also convicting-i haven't been doing anything, but that needs to change. so tonight i opened up my devotional and was led to some good verses in Psalms and Hebrews, but somehow i ended up in Isaiah and i came across an awesome, AWESOME verse.

"I will go before you

and will level the mountains;

I will break down gates of bronze

and cut through bars of iron.

I will give you the treasures of darkness

riches stored in secret places,

so that you may know that I am the Lord

the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

...

I summon you by name

and bestow on you a title of honor,

though you do not acknowledge Me.

I am the Lord, and there is no other;

apart from Me there is no God.

I will strengthen you,

though you have not acknowledged Me.."

-Isaiah 45:2-5

He bestows a title of HONOR on me-apathetic, distracted ME- even though i have not acknowledged Him. wow. that was convicting. how awesome is He-that He loves me even when i'm not strong enough or good enough to love Him back. Thank You, God.